Author Archive
Sure, being a parent is hard work–but it’s not impossible. Like any job, however, it really helps to show up. The parents of Oran Canfield–author of Long Past Stopping—had trouble with that part of the job description. Oran’s dad left home when Oran was one and his mom was pregnant with Oran’s brother. The dad is Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series (I’m choosing not to link this title).
Usually, a kid can withstand having one deadbeat parent–Oran had two. Oran’s mom is a therapist and unable to care for the kids (I’m still unclear why), choosing instead to farm the kids out to 1960s activists and unconventional boarding schools every chance she gets. She’s pretty much absent throughout the book and, when Oran was 9(!!!!), she sent him to join the circus (again–!!!!).
Oran started drinking when he was 8, had his first acid trip at 14 (with Jerry Garcia’s daughter) and became a heroin addict soon after. It’s not surprising that Oran became a drug addict. What’s amazing is that he’s still alive.
Oran writes hilariously and without self-pity about his countless trips in and out of rehab. Here’s Oran’s take on his dad’s books: “I had always thought that his whole self-help schtick was a racket, but his new book exceeded the limits of what I thought was possible in terms of sheer vapidity.” I’m with Oran. One of Jack’s 2007 titles is Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul. Seriously. And, if vapidity’s what you’re after, check out Jack’s website.
I should mention that Oran’s father did pay for much of Oran’s rehab. I guess that’s something, but the way I see it–too little, too late pal.
By the end of the book—great news–Oran is drug free and has begun to have a relationship with his dad. “For the first time,” Oran writes, “I’m actually able to see that they really were doing the best they could . . . I’m sick of hating them.” Good for Oran. I applaud his attitude and truly hope that a revived relationship with his parents helps him stay healthy. Personally, I’ve got no time for Jack Canfield or his books (according to Jack’s Wikipedia entry, the Chicken Soup for the Soul series was among the top 150 best-selling books of the last 15 years–go figure). After reading about Jack’s continued and extensive disregard of his children as he concentrated solely on his own needs, amassing enormous wealth from publishing tripe, I’m even off soup.
My re-cap: Read Long Past Stopping. It’s a touching, funny, and well-written memoir. If your soul requires chicken soup, however, you’d be better served by the variety that comes in a bowl.
December 16th, 2009
Terry - Central
When I first picked up The Art of Making Money I thought, “Great. Probably one of those Suze Orman books and I’ll be chastised for buying another latte.” (According to Suze Buzzkill, my coffee purchases may be impeding my retirement plans). But, reading further, I note the second part of the title–The Story of a Master Counterfeiter. Hmmm. Now they got my attention.
Part memoir, part true crime and written by Jason Kersten, it’s about Art Williams, a maverick counterfeiter from Chicago. The story begins with Art’s childhood in a dysfunctional (natch) family. Art’s father, a small-time crook, abandoned the family when Williams was 11. His mother, diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia, is unable to look after their three kids. The family ends up on welfare in Bridgeport, on Chicago’s south side, amidst guns, drugs and gangs. Williams begins breaking into parking meters and is soon supporting the family by stealing cars. He then graduates to robbing local drug dealers. At this point, the fun has really just begun and Williams is 13 and we’re only on chapter 3.
Art’s mother’s boyfriend (a.k.a. Da Vinci) takes Art under his wing, introducing him to a future in counterfeiting. After Da Vinci disappears (presumably at the hands of a disgruntled client) Art is left to fine tune his talent on his own. He does so, taking his career onto a new level by using the newest technology available, coming up with a c-note, (I like to throw the lingo around) a hundred dollar bill so perfect, even law enforcement have trouble telling it from the real thing.
Art’s inevitable downfall stems from his inability to follow Da Vinci’s simple instructions–first, do not spend the notes yourself, and secondly, never spend them close to home. Art’s final undoing, however, is a result of visiting his father in Alaska. In a moment of weakness and, one can only think, an effort to finally win dear old dad’s approval, Art lets his dad in on the business. Art Senior wants a piece of the free money action but can’t follow the rules either.
If I was casting the movie, which is currently in the works, I’d put Johnny Depp in the lead role and Ray Liotta as the deadbeat dad. While you wait for the film, however, slap down some legal tender, get yourself a big old latte and enjoy this page turner. Sure, it may not expedite your retirement or improve your investment portfolio, but take solace in the fact that the feds aren’t chasing you. And then there’s all that money you’re saving by getting your stuff from the library.
November 13th, 2009
Terry - Central
My mother had a saying: “That and fifty cents will get you right on the bus.” The meaning was, no matter what, you still have to pay for the bus.
An example: Me: “That woman has beautiful hair.”
My Mother: “Yeah–that and fifty cents will get her right on the bus.”
We all make references depending on the times/places we’re from. Depending on our differences, this could mean we’re not always understood. Every year, Beloit College releases its Mindset List, which provides a look at the cultural benchmarks shaping the lives of students entering college that year. The list reminds us of the ever changing frame of reference of popular culture.
Ralph Keyes acknowledges the confusion and makes entertaining sense of it in: I Love It When You Talk Retro: Hoochie Coochie, Double Whammy, Drop a dime, and the Forgotten Origins of American Speech. Divided into subjects, Keyes takes us back down a familiar, nostalgic road, as he defines “retroterms,” (a word or phrase in current use yet having an origin that isn’t current). Ever wonder where “bigger than a breadbox?” came from? Or, what the news anchor meant when she reported the president had “some splainin’ to do?”
This is a book about language but definitely not just for word junkies. It’s geared to those of us old enough to be somewhat familiar with these terms or who use them without knowing their origin—an example for me would be “She’s got moxie.” The book can be read cover to cover but makes an enjoyable browse as well. I liked perusing the “Index of Retroterms” in the back, traveling to corresponding pages when a phrase intrigued me.
I had different levels of knowledge concerning the retroterms. Even when I knew them, however, it was comforting to delve deeper. Barney Fife?” Easy. “Catch-22? I’m on it. “Age of Aquarius?” Honey, I was there. Blanche DuBois? Bobby-Soxers? “I’ll Have What She’s Having?” Check, check and check. On the other hand, why someone would “take the cake?” was news to me.
The book was reassuring as well as enlightening. It certainly made me feel better. Seems that simply by hanging around all these years, I’ve gotten smarter. It’s nice to know I’m really good at something, even if that something is a passing knowledge of outdated terms.
And where will all this accrued knowledge get me? These days, along with 2 bucks–right on the bus.
July 30th, 2009
Terry - Central