MADreads

What price motherhood?

March 29th, 2009 Katie H.

On a given weekday, a woman’s day begins by seeing her husband off to work, getting her school-aged children out of bed and dropping them off at school, and then she spends the day running errands or doing chores.  After picking the kids up, she will help them with their homework or take them to piano lessons, make dinner and finally greet her husband after his long day at work.  Tomorrow and the day after she will have the same routine.

It sounds like a scene out of the fifties, but it’s not an unusual scene in today’s neighborhoods.  Forty years after Betty Friedan wrote of the creeping depression of many housewives in her epochal work The Feminine Mystique, journalist (and mother) Leslie Bennetts writes that a new generation of women are moving back into the household, with potentially disastrous results for them and the workforce in general.  In The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? Bennetts’ resounding answer to her own question is yes.

Bennetts considers many examples of women, often highly educated and well-off, who decide to give up their careers either permanently or temporarily in exchange for raising their children.   Opting out of their career, their focus shifts to home life, volunteering and domestic pursuits, leaving the husband to earn the paycheck.   Bennetts interviews stay-at-home women who cite the women’s revolution as giving them the choice to stay at home, and consider themselves as much as feminists as working mothers.

Bennetts sees this as false security, and her book is filled with examples of women who have regretted staying home.  Mainly, her concern is economic independence; even women married to men with high-paying, stable jobs can see their incomes plummet following a divorce, health crisis or other calamity.  Earning potential lost during a hiatus of several years to raise children can never be recovered, nor, as Bennetts points out, can the experience gained through continuous employment, making job hunting at a later age difficult.  She expands her argument to the psychological effects joblessness creates in the family, including the added pressure on husbands as sole breadwinners, micromanaged children and anxiety rooted in the loss of work colleagues and a set schedule. In the end, Bennetts asks, is it really a smart decision for a women to bet her entire future on her husband’s paycheck, in return for what is essentially the temporary job of childrearing?

It’s an intriguing question, and one which has been getting a fair amount of attention recently.  Bennetts states early on that she isn’t interested in getting involved in ‘mommy wars,’ but her tone reflects a condescending view towards women have chosen to take a different track than her own.  Worse, Bennetts’ research seems limited to women married to wealthy professionals, largely residing in New York City or well-to-do Connecticut suburbs–hardly an accurate slice of today’s workforce.   It’s a pity, as the economic problems women face are a major concern (and as a recent Time article noted, are becoming acute in a tightening economy).   Despite its flaws, however, The Feminine Mistake is worthwhile reading for anyone concerned about the future of gender equality in the U.S., and demonstrates how much remains to be done.

Looks like I agree with Lisa on this one.

Entry Filed under: General, Nonfiction