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Mother daughter role reversal

January 27th, 2009 Mary K. - Central

Mary Gordon and local author Ingeborg Gubler Casey led an emotional and involved discussion about caring for elderly and ill parents as part of a program entitled Mother Daughter Role Reversal at the 2008 Wisconsin Book Festival.  Gubler-Casey introduced the program and Gordon read from her book Circling My Mother.

In Circling My Mother, Gordon takes on her mother’s life story and depicts her own rather difficult childhood.  Anna Gordon died at age 92 after a lengthy stay in a nursing home and suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia.  Mary Gordon describes this condition in detail and discusses her own methods of coping with a mother who no longer recognizes her daughter, and experiences total loss of control.

But this is the story of Anna’s life, as well as of her illness and death.  Anna was a strong woman who suffered from polio as a child.  She made an unsuitable marriage, and gave birth to her only child later in life, only to then be widowed when Mary was 7.  She always worked, cared for her family, and had a good and supportive circle of friends.  She also was an alcoholic and had some strained relationships with her large immediate family.

Many of Gordon’s novels are based on her life and that of her family. For example, the priest in The Company of Women is based on an actual priest who had a lot of influence on both Gordon and a group of her mother’s friends. And while Gordon’s depiction, in the memoir, of her mother’s life and that of her relatives may seem harsh and overly critical, she also clearly loved her mother and was very close to her. Her honesty truly hits home.

Entry Filed under: Memoir & Biography