Don’t make this mistake
I have a bunch of complaints about The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much by Leslie Bennetts. But I’m still going to recommend it to every young woman or mother with daughters.
Bennetts, a journalist from NYC, writes about the recent trend of working women quitting their jobs to stay home to raise their children. Mostly well-educated and upperclass, these women devote themselves entirely to supporting their husbands in their lucrative careers and providing the best life for their kids. Yet we all know that many of these marriages are going to encounter problems, either from health problems or the vagaries of the economy, and many will end in divorce. And when that happens these women end up out of luck, money, homes, retirement funds and health care.
There are even more negatives to staying at home.
- The woman has no income. She loses control over your life and the respect of her husband and peers.
- Her health goes to pot. Obesity, depression and heart problems increase
- Her stress increases. No one likes the day to day drudgery of dishes, dinner and dirty clothes.
- Her marital dissatisfaction increases.
- etc.
All this has been written before. But Bennett especially stresses the impact of the loss of income and work experience over the years of child rearing. Returning to the workforce is more difficult than ever with constant technological changes. Loss of benefits, retirement funds and social security over those years can have a cascading effect, leaving a woman with very little income in her old age.
Complaints: It’s too long. It’s repetitive. Most of the women whose lives she describes are wealthy New Yorkers - aren’t they really the only ones who have the true option of staying at home anymore? How can the rest of us relate?
But read it anyway.
Entry Filed under: Nonfiction
2 Comments Add your own
1. Citizen Reader | July 5th, 2008 at 7:14 am
I hated this book SO MUCH. Whatever few good points the author had to make were obscured by the fact that the only women she interviewed were wealthy New York City types who’d previously had jobs as high-powered executives or in creative-type establishments. So there they all were, sitting around rich, complaining that they had nothing to do and were so unhappy.
I ask you: if you’re rich, sitting around in Manhattan, and you can’t find anything to do, is ANYTHING going to make you happy? I don’t think so.
And what about all the women out there working one (or more)horrible jobs just to make ends meet? Does Bennett really think there’s anything fulfilling about hourly service or similar jobs? I bet a lot of working women are suffering health problems from lack of exercise and poor diet because they’re working too much and can’t afford better food and more time to prepare it.
Just once I’d like to see someone take on this topic and do it well. Like addressing why the only thing that has any value in our society is going out to work to earn a paycheck. Why women now go to jobs and still end up doing most of the child care and housework. Until Bennett interviews some real women and asks some better questions I’m not interested.
2. Lisa | July 7th, 2008 at 7:57 am
CR;
Madreads just ate my carefully constructed response to your posting. I always forget it’s evil tendencies.
I basically said I agree with you. With the exception that there are some people in our world (I hear them at my health club) who do, or would love to stay at home. And if only we could be like the French. And why are publishers (and myself, maybe) so Manhanttan-centric.
Next time, I hope I remember to outfox the Madreads comment-eater….
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